Limitless Living

It’s Ok for Today to Suck

“All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness. It wants room to unfold. It wants to relax and tell its story. It wants to dissolve like a thousand writhing snakes that with a flick of kindness become harmless strands of rope.” Geneen Roth

Today I am snarky and inexplicably grumpy. There is no cause. No one has done me wrong. But it is how I feel. And you know what?

That’s OK.

It’s ok for me to feel like punching someone in the face (because thinking it and doing it are not the same thing) and it’s ok for me to be grumpy and sensitive for no reason.

It is ok for me to feel the way I feel.


Here’s what’s not ok: being mean to Jeff simply because he is stuck in the same space as me. Not warning Jeff about the inexplicable snark. Blaming myself. Calling myself a bitch. Trying to force myself to stop feeling this way or to deny how I feel. Creating a story about how I’m always like this and why can’t I get over it already? Expecting myself to carry out the day as if I’m not feeling this way.

Basically the “Not Ok To Do When Feeling Feelings” list boils down to: Blame, Judgement, Denial, Indulgence, and Taking It Out on Others.

Please notice that “feel the way I feel” is not on this list.

What If It was OK to Feel Like Shit Today?

Today you feel like shit. Let’s embrace it. Maybe there’s a reason, maybe there isn’t. That’s irrelevant. What is relevant is that you are a person who has feelings and right now their feelings are.not.cooperating.

You feel:
Like a Failure.
Grief Stricken.
Like an Asshole.

Tell me how you feel and I will offer to you this mantra:

“It is OK for me to feel INSERT YOUR FEELING HERE right now.”

It’s ok. Furious isn’t your enemy. Snark isn’t trying to derail your life. Loneliness is not your forever and Sadness is not a measure of your worth as a human being. They are simply the way you feel. Just for right now.

And what if you made that ok?

What if you attempted to meet that emotion not with blame and judgement and bigotry but instead with tenderness? What if you stopped trying to drown yourself in rightness and wrongness and shoulds and simply let the feeling be what it was.

If it was ok for you to feel the way you felt then you would listen to the feeling. You would hear the story it is telling you. You would give it a hug and you would ask it, What do I need in this moment right now to allow the feeling to continue moving on? To support and care for the Myself who is feeling this feeling?

Do I need to tell someone about this feeling?
Do I need to go for a run?
Do I need to take a nap? Or read a book?
Or take the whole day off?
Do I need to find someone to pick the kids up from school?
Do I need a bath?
Do I need someone to know what happened to cause this feeling?
Do I need to accomplish something on my to do list?
Do I need to eat something? Or stop eating without thought?
Do I simply need to keep reminding myself that it is ok that I feel this way right now?

It’s ok that I feel snarky today. It really is ok that I feel this way. It’s probably hormonal. It’s probably out of my control. I don’t need to feed it, but it is ok that this is the way I feel. I don’t need to change it. Or stop it. Or stuff it.

I simply need to meet it and take care of myself within it. Say it with me:

It’s OK for me to feel like shit for right now.


p.s. Forget Winter ~ Summer is coming. Summer of Money, that is. It'll be about money, but really, it will be about so much more than money!

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